The reason I used to come on to mindsay was to read my friend"s blog.  I loved how she was able to pour out her feelings and just feel like this was home for her.  She would write her feels like it was  her diary, only difference it that people would comment on it !

I always comment to her about writing stuff that was so personal.  She would simply tell me that it gave her a way to write her feelings/thoughts and that is what mattered.  She has now totally inspired me to make this my "honesty" place.

I have been struggling lately with the fact that I am overweight.  If anyone knows what that is like you can simply relate.  You know the looks, stares, comments and the "your so pretty if only you could lose weight".

I have been yoyoing for years.  Just last year I was diagnosed with osteosarcomas.  It was then that I became depressed at the thought that I could lose my leg or legs and my life.  It was also the time I began to lose weight. 

I have been in the clear for about 3 months or so and yet again I am overweight!  It disgusts me that I could let myself go like that.  Then that makes me almost depressed!  I simply wanna be the girl who can wear the cute jeans or the tights shirts without having my stomach look like the biggest thing I have.  I wanna be noticed for my eyes or my smile.  Not because of my bulging oversized stomach!

I am 27..  It has been my dream to stay with my friend in TN and go to parameedic school and become a volunteer firefighter!  However,  I am not in the shapw right now to do that.  I seem to lack motivation just like Fairy.

does anyone have any suggestions?